i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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