Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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