Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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