I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
