you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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