I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
