i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
