holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
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He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
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Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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