is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
