If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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