Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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