i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
