y did u give ur computer a hand job?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I could make wine with my vomit
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
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you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
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Life without a bra equals bliss.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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