marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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