Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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