i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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