i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
