We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
