Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
