my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
