At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She made me pour olive oil on her.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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