I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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