Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
