The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
