The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
