I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
