swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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