I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
