I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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