I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize