Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
nutella sex= disaster
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
