on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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