Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
