THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
