He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
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??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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