im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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