She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
