and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
