CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
