I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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