btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
