He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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