Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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