You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize