If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
