If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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