Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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