My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
