i think my mom watched the whole time
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
