You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
