Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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