i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
