porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
