I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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