Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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