And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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