I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize