I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
