True but thats because hes a fetus.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
