Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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