that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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