Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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